By Muffy Diver
Copyright © 2007, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
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Nina Hartley's Advanced Guide to Oral Sex
Five minutes into Nina Hartley's Advanced Guide to Oral Sex, you might find yourself looking down at your pussy, wondering, "Does mine do that?"
Ten minutes in, you'll be thinking, "I hope it does that!"
Nina, a porn star turned sex-maven, has a long-running series of how-to videos that are a must-see for dudes and chicks who want to enhance their skills. To put it bluntly: If you want to wow your girl with your ability to eat her puss or fuck her ass, watch these movies. Now.
Nina got her start in the biz way back in the '80s, and before Jenna Jameson, she was the mainstream media's go-to girl when porn needed a spokeswoman. She's been in over 400 films, and is legendary for her perfect, heart-shaped ass.
This full-length oral sex feature starts with a quickie anatomy lesson, external genital massage (that's rubbing your partner's cock or pussy, to the, ahem, layperson) and then moves on to sucking and licking.
The techniques are demonstrated by a troupe of svelte, enthusiastic and freshly waxed actors. They seem more like good friends in an impromptu suck-and-fuck fest than paid participants, and frankly, that's hot. Nina particularly seems like she's having the time of her life - "I just love big balls," she says fondly as he pats the 'nads of one willing (and super hard) stud, before using her tongue to demonstrating the sensitivity of the frenulum (that's the underside of your dick, guys).
Nina's sexy schoolmarm persona is a whole fantasy in itself - in a tiny top and miniskirt, she looks like a sexed-up version of the high school teacher who gave you wood every time you dropped the chalk. You can probably beat off a good dozen times on that image alone.
With a her cute little lisp, Nina dispenses pointers like, "always make eye contact when you're sucking a guy's cock," and starts "lessons" with intros like, "Let's see what we can do with one erection and two mouths!"
By the time the actual fucking starts, it's convincing - no awkward positioning or fake moans. These people are having genuinely fantastic sex…and you might be too; this is girlfriend-friendly porn for sure.
Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex
Like Nina's guide to oral, this film opens with an almost-clinical tour of the anus, and a few pointers from Miss Hartley:
- - Use lots of lube!
- - Go slow!
- - Pay attention to your partner!
- - Tongue that thing before you fuck it!
The live action starts as Nina's good friend Anna Malle takes a seat in a chair seemingly made for ass-fucking, complete with stirrups that leave Anna's sweet shaved pussy and tight asshole open and exposed. Nina and Anna caution viewers that beginners shouldn't expect to plunge right in. Assfucking without pain or discomfort takes time, kind of like training for the triathlon….but with lube.
Nina starts off by fingering Anna's asshole, explaining how to stroke the oh-so-sensitive orifice in just the right way and how far to penetrate for maximum cum factor. But Anna is a pro, and soon she's moaning, asking for a second finger and working on her clit with an industrial-strength vibrator as she grinds her ass onto Nina's hand, building up to a world-class orgasm. Such enthusiasm for anal is unparalleled in this reviewer's experience, which tends to indicate that if you're ready for ass play, Nina's regime is the way to go.
Again, the guide is just the beginning. The back end of the film - pun intended - features Nina and Anna fucking Hank Armstrong and John Decker senseless. The action starts with some deepthroating and finishes with both girls taking it in the pink and the stink. Hank Armstrong lets down men everywhere when he has trouble staying hard enough put his cock in Anna's ass - seriously, dude. WTF? Luckily, John Decker is up to the challenge, delivering a serious deep down dicking to Miss Hartley from vag to ass and back again.
Carnal Witness
The under 30 crowd, might not be familiar with Nina's non-tutorial body of work. So check out Carnal Witness, in which she proves why she earned her title of best ass in the biz.
Carnal Witness is oddly laden with strange plot lines – there's a whole bit about a guy in witness protection, a plastic surgeon/evil mobster, and a lurking watcher. And oh yeah, Cheyenne Silver is psychic. But don't worry, there's plenty of fucking and sucking.
Cheyenne plays a perky-breasted heroine (seriously, her tits are fantastic) who's just moved into the hottest apartment complex in the world, sandwiched between neighbors Nina Hartley and Randy Spears. She's afraid to stay alone at night, but is soon soothed by long, erotic dreams of thick-dicked Chris Cannon, T.J. Hart and of course Miss Nina, frolicking in the hot tub. Funny how it's hard to be afraid of the dark when you're up to your forehead in Nina's muff. Director Bud Lee lets the camera linger lovingly on Cheyenne's vigorous tongue action, with plenty of close-ups of Nina's puss.
In her waking hours, Cheyenne confides in Nina, which leads to, of course, fingerbanging on the kitchen counter. Duuuh. As Cheyenne's dreams get more intense, she and Nina try to track down Chris Cannon (he's in witness protection because he - do you really care?) and wind up jump-starting a T.J. Hart/Hershel Savage fuck-a-thon. Before the film's over, Savage and Cannon pound the incomparable Chloe, who reverse cowgirls her way to a show-stopping orgasm, and, ahem, climaxes with a Cheyenne/Randy scene that's kind of tender and loving, but still involves coming on her tits. Because, you know, there's nothing better than sweet tenderness and coming on fantastic tits.
